3 Lessons from Holidays at the In-laws

My introduction to my future mother-in-law:

“Mom, this is my boyfriend.”

“Honey, don’t joke like that.”

My future mother-in-law assumed I, a white, Jewish, California native, couldn’t possibly qualify as a boyfriend to an ethnically Chinese woman raised on the island of Borneo.

Yet, today, I get along wonderfully with my in-laws. Why?

1. I watched.
2. I listened.
3. I tried to fit in.

When we visit our in-laws, we find ourselves in unknown territory. My in-laws’ feast is filled with fresh tropical fruits and vegetables and they burn incense with friends at a Buddhist temple after dinner. American football isn’t even offered on local tv. The cultural differences with my own family are everywhere.

Yet, my wife’s family is now my family. I want to be accepted . . and so I learn about them. I think about my in-laws’ perspectives. And, I try and pause before coming to a negative conclusion about how they approach the world.

We each find meaningful differences with our in-laws. Our in-law family is different than our own. And, certainly, we’re not always successful bridging the gap between us.

However, by making the effort to bridge the cultural gap, we learn— and, we make understanding more likely.

We’re entering the holiday season in a world more divided than ever. We consider fewer and fewer people to be part of our family. As we visit our in-laws, let’s think about the effort we make to:

1. Watch
2. Listen
3. Try and fit in.

Let’s remember these tools and strategies when we re-enter our day-to-day lives. We’ll have plenty of opportunities to collaborate over the coming year. If we remember these insights from our holiday with the in-laws, I think we’re more likely to succeed.

When you want to collaborate with someone, what do you think about?

If you haven’t checked out the Extending the Family initiative at HSRN.com, do so. The upcoming holidays inspired that initiative. Hopefully we can help bridge the divide between corporate America and the African American community through cultural exchange at Historically Black Colleges and Universities.

Our society cannot just survive. For the sake of our children, it must thrive.

Rod

PS: When you’re ready, here are four ways you can grow your profit while solving society’s big problems:

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